Unfeeling
by Woofie-chan
Summary: I was, and still am, unfeeling. Not even going on adventures or risking my life will change that. (Sesshomaru x OC!Insert)
1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

**I don't know why I'm doing this, but I've received the sudden inspiration for a Sesshomaru FanFiction. I don't normally upload my works on (I prefer Wattpad and Quotev) but I could use a change in pace. If you want to read the stories on my other account, I'll probably link them in my bio eventually. I rarely ever post the same story on differing sites, so yeah. Anyways, this idea just occurred to me and I need something else to take up my time.**

 **Warning: This story will contain potentially triggering situations, mature themes, and will not always follow the Inuyasha storyline. Should you be offended, please refrain from flaming in the comments. I _will_ roast you like a fucking pig. **

**Note: I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, Kikyo would have been long since dead, Naraku would have been made sexier, and Sesshomaru would be the main character. Kagome would be irrelevant to the plot, and Inuyasha would just constantly fight things. Thankfully, I only own my inserted character(s).**

 **Chapter 1 _Prologue_**

Feelings are special, that's what Ma' said. They were the inner thoughts of ones mind, a controlled development that stretched the human conscious. But, under what circumstances were you supposed to dispose of those feelings? Was it when you were cast into the body of a demon? Or did in not matter whether you were of the human species or not?

"You are special." Ma' would say, gently rubbing my head. I would stare blankly, unsure how to respond. No feelings of love, affection, or pride flowed through me. It merely felt blank, like a white canvas in the midst of a white room. No tangles of thoughts, contradictions. Not a single laying argument or saddening reality. It was just a depth of mind that brought nothing but white to the table.

"White." I responded gingerly. The word sounded sour on my tongue, almost like chewing on a rancid candy. Ma' looked almost shocked, staring at me with a _look_. I thought there was some deeper meaning to it, something that explained my disability. I was meant to be a powerful yokai, someone to be feared among men. And yet there I sat, snuggled comfortably against my Ma's fur, unable to comprehend the different between happiness and utter defeat.

 **I was, and still am, unfeeling.**


	2. Chapter 2 - Beginnings

**Welcome back to my shitty story. Hope the prologue dragged you in, I worked a good 30 minutes on that. Now that that is over with, time to begin the actual plot.**

 **Warning: This story will contain potentially triggering situations, mature themes, and will not always follow the Inuyasha storyline. Should you be offended, please refrain from flaming in the comments. I _will_ roast you like a fucking pig.**

 **Note: I do not own Inuyasha. I only own my own inserted character(s).**

 **Chapter 2 _Beginnings_**

When I was young, my family's 'witch' foretold that I would be abnormal child. It was a loose fortune, something that angered Ma' to the point of transformation. "A delicate being, nothing more than a disabled human in the body of a wolf," the teller uttered. She said no more than that, slashed at the neck before the end of the day. There was a lot of talk, whispers and rumors, nothing all that kind. Servants passed words of a bad seed, giggled, laughed, and snorted when it occurred to them that they would serve something cursed.

And then I was born.

From what I've picked up, Ma' was hysterical. She barely allowed me to leave her sight, nurtured and spoiled me beyond my own recollection. When my body was capable of balancing itself, I began to walk and think (relatively) for myself. It was around that period when Ma' ceased her dramatics and allowed me to waddle about without her watchful eye. It was also around that time when my disability was evident.

Even as a demon, I was still a child. I was supposed to be creative, overly excited, and happy. Or at least, I was supposed to briefly show those emotions before succumbing to the duties as Princess of the North. I was a quiet toddler, never cried, never complained, never spoke, never acknowledged the actions of those around me. Ma' was the first to question me. She was gentle about it, softly assured me that nothing was wrong (even though I didn't particularly care). This went on until my inheritance.

At that point, Ma' had accepted that I was _different_. She had tried to trigger metaphorical switches in my mind, frequently went to other demons, and asked questions in hopes of a solution. When none came, Ma's personal guard commented that my condition was more beneifitial than not. After all, very little people could kill their best friend and feel no guilt afterwards.

I had to do that. Father's orders.

Presently, I was to be given to the Lord of the West. "Given" is a loose word, it was more like lent. Vocabulary was never my best subject, but even the simplest of minds could understand the difference between temporary and permanent. At least, I believed as much. Father tended to be vague, though that could merely be my own issue. Everyone in the castle seemed to see through his words as well as a window. Perhaps a dusty window, but a window nevertheless.

I had met the Western Lord once. He was tall. _Really_ tall. He was also prettier than Ma', and that was something very little people could achieve. I would say I liked him, but I had no particular feelings for anyone. He was just there, another powerful figure that blurred into the lines. That's how it was for Ma' and Father too. I tried to make them unique, maybe more appealing when it came to favored choice, but it never worked. I could never give them a pedistal to stand on.

"Introducing Lord Sesshomaru, Daiyokai of the West." I recalled the extravigant first meeting. One of the generals was there to open the door for him as if he didn't have arms of his own. He marched into the dining room, fluff flowing behind him. _Fluff_. It wasn't as if his hair was fluffy. Rather, he had a thick white boa thrown over his shoulder that dragged on the ground. Father met him halfway from the table, bowing and giving him a fake smile.

"Sesshomaru." I remember him saying. If I thought about it at the time, I could say Father's voice sounded sour. It was almost as if he was a snake looking for a meal.

"Amakashi." Sesshomaru had responded with an equally as sour tone. The two men stared each other down, an obvious dislike flowing between them. They looked as if they were prepared to battle it out with no regard for their treaty. Thankfully, Ma' was there to get inbetween them. In truth, I cared little about their rivalry or want to battle. In fact, if they did for some reason break out their claws, I would just sit on the sidelines and watch. Perhaps it would spark an emotion inside me...

Regardless, Father and Sesshomaru seated themselves on opposite sides of the dining table. They discussed mostly politicial matters, things that didn't interest me, but eventually got onto the topic of marriage. Or, for better perspective, the marriage between Sesshomaru and I. I managed to listen to the major details of that conversation to understand a few simple concepts.

First of all, Sesshomaru was not finalizing any sort of marriage with my family until he dealed with personal matters.

Second of all, Sesshomaru did not guarentee that the entire situation would turn in Father's favor.

Both of those things angered Father greatly, that much I could tell. Despite that, he refrained from saying anything (much to my surprise), and instead adressed me. I didn't pay attention to what he addressed me about, but it was still me.

 _Me._ As in, the beloved Princess of the North who also happened to be apathetically munching on a bread roll. A human-made bread roll.

"Tomoe!" Father hissed out my name. I halfheartably finished off the bread I was eating, before realizing all eyes were on me. I straightened slightly, trying to look as though I knew entirely what we were talking about. I had picked up bits and pieces, obviously, but hadn't cared enough to tune in entirely.

"Yes?" I tried to make my voice sound polite as I spoke (something Father kept attacking me about), but it only came out as my typical uncaring monotone.

"You will be accompanying Lord Sesshomaru until your marriage." I nodded, not quite happy, nor unhappy about Father's decision. It seemed a bit pointless, but I couldn't complain. Sesshomaru, however, seemed like he wanted to. He stared at me, golden eyes unblinking, with obvious annoyance.

It's ironic. I find myself quite capable of identifying other's emotions and yet can not find my own. I suppose that's because I've grown up with people who so willingly show me their pain or happiness. I could understand what sadness did to people, but I didn't know what it felt like. It was a joke-one that sometimes made me want to feel anger.

 **The end. First real chapter completed. This took me like 4 months to complete entirely. That's just plain sad. Anyways, hope you like the beginnings~!**

 **Chapters will be longer in the future, I just couldn't add anymore without making a huge timeskip.**

 **Tomoe, our beloved unfeeling princess, is going to be travelling with Sesshomaru. Just so you all know, it's more or less so that Amakashi (Tomoe's father) can have an excuse to both get rid of his daughter and hopefully convinve Sesshomaru to mate Tomoe after defeating Naraku.**


	3. Chapter 3 - A Small Drop

**Third chapter! We're actually getting somewhere. If you're curious whatsoever about when this story takes place on the Inuyasha timeline, it's practically right after Sesshomaru meets Naraku for the first time.** **I have a couple reasons for doing this, but the main one is to give plenty of time for the relationship between Sesshomaru and Tomoe to develop.**

 **Anyways, let's get riiiight into business~**

 **Warning: This story will contain potentially triggering situations, mature themes, and will not always follow the Inuyasha storyline. Should you be offended, please refrain from flaming in the comments. I will roast you like a fucking pig.**

 **Note: I do not own Inuyasha. I only own my own inserted character(s).**

 **Chapter 3 _A Small Drop_**

After my first meeting with Sesshomaru, everything calmed down. Ma' stopped giving Father looks, Father stopped giving _me_ looks, and I went along with what I've always done. Supposedly, the oh-so-great Lord Sesshomaru was staying in the Northern Castle searching for something (and that was his initial reason for visiting Father), but I could never be sure. I simply left him to his own business as I awaited the day he would leave—and subsequently, take me with him. In the meantime, I spent days trying to understand the books in the royal library.

Since before my proper marriage age, I'd called the library my surrogate home. It stuck out just a tad in comparison to my overly fancy bedroom. Sure, the sheets on the bed were comfy and snuggable, but there wasn't much to look at there. Everything seemed to be the same. Lots of spirals, antique metal decorations, simple things that didn't quite catch enough of my attention. It was similar to staring at a wall for hours. Not that I had anything against walls, but it was boring. Perhaps that was an emotion I could feel? Boredom? Maybe...

Either way—the library. There was nothing extravagantly special about the room. It was quite large, but the same could be said for almost every room in the castle. Bookshelf upon bookshelf was laid next to each other to form straight even rows. Each shelf was filled to the brim with books and scrolls. You could find anything there—novels, signed treaties, incomplete study papers, war records, anything. I tended to gravitate towards the lower part of the library, where the sitting area was. There was a pile of thick furs laid bundled on the ground next to a window overlooking the royal garden. I spent quite a lot of nights snuggled into that spot. Father got particularly angry when he found me there in the morning. Ma', on the other hand, didn't seem to mind my habit of sleeping anywhere but my bedroom. Not that she encouraged it, but...

"Welcome back, Tomoe." a voice called from the corner of the library. I glanced over, instantly recognizing the scratchy tone of the court scribe. He was an elderly man, one that had supposedly been serving my father and the Northern lands since before I was born. It wasn't that hard to imagine. He looked old. His hair, which once had been a frightful inky black, was grayed due to age. I could faintly recall that he looked better in my childhood, but it was all a bit vague. Regardless of his small changes, he was still mostly the same. He still had the thin black ears that seemed a bit too big for his head and the bushy tail that always dragged behind him. If I thought about it, I could remember spending a lot of my time watching his twitchy appendages.

"Hiroyoshi..." I let the old man's name touch the tip of my tongue. It came off perfectly and I briefly wondered how it managed to flow so well. It was a rather long name and there _were_ a lot of vowels. Perhaps it was from my experience?

"It's a rather lovely morning." Hiroyoshi broke me from my internal debate. I nodded, almost involuntarily, before responding.

"I guess," I took a moment to look at the nearby library windows. "I haven't really been outside," I admitted guiltily. I watched, almost entrancingly, as the morning light filtered through the stained glass. It was extremely alluring. For a moment, I debated lying in the very middle of the sunlight just to see how it feels. But that would be silly—would it not?

"I doubt that will be a problem. You are leaving the Northern Castle today, yes?" Hiroyoshi smiled as I turned my attention back to him. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't sure what was happening because nobody thought to tell me anything, but I didn't. I didn't really care that information was withdrawn from me. It was problematic at times and normally put me in bad situations, but I always found my way out of trouble. It wasn't like it mattered anyway. I never paid attention when people did inform me of the schedule. Sometimes I did, but those were rare times.

"I guess," I responded nonchalantly. There was a small space of silence, one which I used to once again turned my attention to my new favorite window, before I spoke again. "What's the outside world like?"

"That's a good question. I suppose it all depends on your views." Hiroyoshi responded after a moment.

"Views?" I asked slowly. I still didn't look at the scribe, finding a small scratch rather interesting. Despite my eyes being away from him, I could almost feel Hiroyoshi's astute smile and nod. He always had a particular expression when responding to my pointless questions.

"Some people view the outside world as a terrible place. Senseless murder, rape, cannibalism, demons walking the earth, the general stuff. They believe that everybody is selfish—which is a rather morbid way of thinking. There are other people who view the outside world as something to be conquered. I've never really favored those type of people myself." I contemplated Hiroyoshi's response. It made sense, I suppose. Father always seemed to have different views than Ma' and so-on-so-forth. It was simple, but not really. I gave a sigh, trying to ease my swirling thoughts.

"Is that it?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"No, no. Tomoe, my dear, I could go down thousands of winding roads and never reach a solid ending. I will admit that demons think like demons and humans think like humans, but there are always differences. There's always warped morals and there's always polarity." Hiroyoshi finished. I took in all his information, absorbing it for later analysis. I doubted I would remember all his words, but I was determined to understand. I wanted to know how others operated. I wanted to _feel_.

"What are your views, Hiroyoshi?" I said straightly. My gaze turned straight towards the man and I stared him down, awaiting a response. He seemed shocked—whether by my question or tone I would never know.

"Well, I-" he started.

"Tomoe!" I frowned deeply. Father, standing tall in all his glory, practically smashed through the library doors. His eyes landed on me immediately and I briefly saw a sneer pass over his lips.

"Father," I acknowledged.

"You are leaving," he growled out. My ears twitched at his tone, but I did not move.

"Now?" I muttered, not quite intending to say it out loud. Father didn't seem to take my question seriously, nor well. He stepped forward, rather quickly, and took a fistful of my hair into his fist. I made a quiet sound at the zap of pain that ran through my head, but only stared up at him. I had to resist the internal voice that told me I was in danger. Struggling would not help me and socking Father in the face would simply aggravate him. All I could do was stand there, baring my neck submissively (which wasn't really under my control). I had learned at a young age that fitting my female role was the best way to avoid trouble. It was uncomfortable, and often painful, but necessary.

"Tomoe," Father lowered his head to my pointed ear, "Do not cause me issues. Know your place."

"Yes, Father," I whispered lowly. With my response, Father released my dark locks and gave me a few inches of space. I gently touched the abused strands, then moved to my aching scalp. I eased my hands into the spot that seemed to hurt the most and made a face when I found a bald spot. Father had burned me. I looked up at him, unable to make out any emotions in his dark eyes. I had to guess, though, that he was delighted by his work. It was nothing new.

"You have five minutes to have yourself situated and ready to go at the front gate," he warned. He looked down at me, as if he were staring at an ant, before turning and marching out. The moment he turned out of eye-view, Hiroyoshi rushed over to me.

"Are you okay, Tomoe, my dear?" I returned the scribe's question with a blank stare. I didn't want to respond. Responding felt like too much of a time-consuming task. Instead, I pushed past him, ignoring the way he stumbled from my force. I didn't mean to push him hard, but it did not matter. I didn't have time to dwell on anything; not my old mentor, not my swirling thoughts, not my burnt hair, and certainly not the small drop of unknown liquid that fell from my chin.

 **So...how was it? I'm trying to fit some character development in here before I add Sesshomaru.**

 **If you couldn't tell already, Tomoe has a bit of a mental crisis.**

 **Sorry for the late update. I haven't been writing as much lately. Most of my days have been something along the lines of getting home, taking a nap, waking up, eating dinner, watching something small, then going back to sleep. Writing is obviously not included in that schedule. This chapter was actually only made because I forced myself to get on and do shit.**

 **But yeah. I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave a review and correct any shitty mistakes I've made~!**


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